Sunflowers
&
Shadows
A companion page for the book, built around the movement from grief to healing, from connection to intimacy, from legacy to the natural world.
Enjoy a peek inside
Sunflowers & Shadows is a record of my progress and struggles through grief, repair, love, sensuality, legacy, and the quiet wonder of nature.
It is about the way life keeps offering light, hope, and lessons, even after the dark has taught us its language.
I made this page to follow the six chapters of my book and pairs each with a short note about what that chapter means to me and the part of the journey it represents. I have also selected one poem from each part to share.
Chapter preview
Each section marks a different threshold in the book. These notes are not explanations so much as lanterns, small lights placed along the path.
Chapter 1.
From Dusk to Dawn
A Journey Grief to Hope
This is where the book begins because this is where the wound began to speak. For me, this section carries grief in its rawest form: sleepless rooms, remembered voices, unfinished conversations, and the first small evidence that love can survive death.
the dash
the dash
not beginning nor end
but all the time between
lies the dash
from here to there
from now till then
all that came before
and all that comes after
exists within the dash
year to year
day to day
we celebrate the dates
instead we should cherish
the dash (between)
as it holds the memories
of what has, what is, and what's yet
for some it held so little
for others it holds the world
it matters not the dates
that hold the end
like bookends of our lives
the vast expanse of life
twain the two
is held within
the dash
Chapter 2.
Healing Path
Recovery & Self-Discovery
This section is the work after the collapse. It is not tidy healing. It is learning what hurts, what still holds, what must be patched, and what must be allowed to grow back differently.
I’ll love
I love without fear
knowing well
the dangers - yet still
I love openly
no catch, no conditions
never a regret
I love wholly
accepting the blessings
as much as the lessons
I love as though - diving
head
first
-
Trusting.how.deep.the.well
in words
in actions
in patience
in understanding
I love genuinely & generously
for time is an enemy
I may never defeat
but each moment I love
I get moments - that never end
I get memories - that never fade
so till the very end (and far beyond)
I'll love
Chapter 3.
Cherished Bonds
Finding Love & Connection
This is the part of the journey where connection becomes possible again. These poems hold tenderness, wonder, recognition, and the first real willingness to believe that love can arrive after heartbreak without betraying what came before.
My Sunflower
In the garden of my heart, she blooms,
a sunflower among the stars,
a mosaic of laughter and light
that dances with the dawn.
Her radiance, a canvas unfurled,
brushed by the sun's tender hand,
each petal a verse in a cosmic poem,
each smile a constellation's embrace.
In her, the sun finds its reflection,
a mirror of warmth and boundless joy.
With each passing day's embrace,
my devotion endures, unwavering,
bridging any distance or time apart.
Her laughter, a first kiss to my days,
a tender embrace that lingers sweetly,
each note, a whispered promise of joy,
tracing its path through the corridors of my soul.
She, the embodiment of uniqueness,
a tapestry woven with care and grace,
unfolding mysteries in every glance,
a masterpiece, beyond the sun's brilliance.
For as the sunflowers bow to the sun,
so do I, in awe, to her essence divine,
falling deeper with each dawn's ascent,
into the boundless depth of love's embrace.
Chapter 4.
Passion in Prose
Embracing intimacy
This chapter is about reclaiming intimacy as language. It is where affection, desire, trust, vulnerability, and the body become part of the same poem. It is not separate from the heart. It is one of the ways the heart speaks.
words upon the skin
i shall write poetry
of your beauty and curves
and sense of humor
- that beg me to explore -
the places where my words
would kiss your skin
as my lips gently touch
in all spaces here and there
between the sheets, in the dark
where they would be welcome
or even in the light
and in the wild - for all to see
let me write the poetry
that lives in the spaces
between us - so close
and still too far
with my lips and yours,
your skin to mine
let there be a thousand lines or more
a sonnet to make grown men weep
and give father time great pause
so grand and epic that mother nature's
seasons change too soon
time and space spent, as we
pen this poem to its end
Chapter 5.
Eternal Echoes
Manifesting our Legacy
This section turns outward and forward. It asks what remains, what we pass on, what kind of person we are trying to become, and how memory, love, fatherhood, manhood, and hope echo beyond the moment we are standing in.
this is not a poem
this is not a poem
i am not the poet
you are not the reader
these are not words written, nor read aloud,
or even printed on the page
what then are these things
what then are we
what then is this experience
what then…?
questions we should ask
questions hard at first to comprehend
for us these matters most sincere
are worth pondering til the very end
the answers may never come
these questions and answers are the journey
meant to find our place within
and navigate the universe about
perhaps then a poem is what we make it
we then are who we imagine
you perhaps are who you project
words and sentences, vocalized, or written
are whatever and to whomever as they are
or even what they aren't
question even the question
quest to determine the destiny
you desire and even who you are
never let your imagination be limited
to the form you presently reside.
Chapter 6.
Songs of Nature
Seasons to Stardust
The final section returns the heart to the world around it. Nature becomes witness, teacher, mirror, and refuge. It holds the seasons, the stars, the woods, the rain, and the reminder that endings are rarely only endings.
This is the way of things
I find myself longing for the stars…
Staring up into the great beyond searching for what, I do not know.
To find peace from the noise…
To find answers from within…
To look for a glimmer of hope…
To simply … Be.
Some see the void - I see the magic-of-the-yet-known, the possibilities, the
whatif-and-whatwas-and-whatis or whatever shall be.
looking out amongst the stars, while perched upon a hill, sat amongst the trees or
cradled by the earth is to also look within.
Every bit as tumultuous as the sea at the edges of a storm, calm and still as the water of a
lake as the early morning sun rises in the distance. This vast expanse all this and more.
Bringing comfort while brimming with chaos
This is the way of things. We need not fear it. This is our place, a miniscule point bravely
shining bright against the onyx field, hoping against hope that we aren't alone in this
starry night.
Hold the light. Keep the shadow.
This book is not about choosing one over the other.
It is about learning to carry both, and still bloom.